Now is the time to calm your mind and slow down and stop worrying so much. I know it may not be easy, but excessive worrying doesn't make anything better and it sure doesn't stop anything from happening.
Instead, worry about what you can control. Come up with a plan. Get organized about what freaks you out. When you have a plan, worrying can cease, and you can get back to normal life as best you can.
What is your jail right now? What's restricting you? Your job? Your thoughts? Your guilt? Your depression? Your anxiety? Your relationships? A literal jail?
Unless you're in actual jail, let's talk about how to break free (I cannot help you escape from jail, but maybe you can find someone who can overturn your conviction if you're innocent?).
If your jail is your own mind due to the fact you think that deprivation is the way to be happier/better/more worthy/etc. or maybe you think that overworking yourself is the only way to get ahead in life or something else equally as "too much" or "too little" of something. In Buddhism, we talk about the "the middle way". The Buddha in the beginning was a spoiled prince who saw extreme poverty everywhere and thought that restricting himself to the point of homelessness and poverty for himself was the way to go. That depriving himself was the way to spiritual oneness/enlightenment. Turns out, it wasn't. So he left his followers in poverty and went to back to being a prince (he was kind of a douche, in so many ways, but I'm a Buddhist, so I can say that) and found that some luxury mixed with non-excessiveness was much more conducive to a happy life, than total deprivation. While I am not sure how true any of the Buddha's story is (it's pretty old), I do have one that's more realistic to show my point.
My father lived a life of workaholism and alcoholism. He lived in a prison of working too much, and clinical depression that he soothed with copious amounts of alcohol. He thought his only worth to me and my mother (and in life) was the amount of money in his bank account. He was a man of many prisons. Rather than work them out, he stayed in them until he died at the age of 55. Because of his personal prisons, he provided a nice little family imposed prison for both my mother and in turn, my mother provided her own prison right back for my father and I. I grew up in a house of prisons.
So I grew up with my own self-imposed prisons due to the way I was "raised" (survived is more like it). We all have them. Sometimes we create our own. Sometimes we inherit them from our parents or those who raised us. Sometimes they are imposed on us by outside forces.
But it really doesn't matter how we get them, it only matters what we do with them. We first need to deal with the reasons we feel imprisoned in the first place. Then we need to work on how to rid ourselves of our prisons. If we don't address the underlying reason why we feel the need to hurt ourselves (and/or others) or let others hurt us, then how can we even begin to escape from our prison(s)?
There are things in life that we just accept, based on our perceptions of who we are and what we deserve. So we learn to accept certain ideas about ourselves, certain behaviors towards us, certain labels, certain treatment. We allow these things, which build our prisons, because that's what we're used to.
This card reminds us to take stock of our current and past prisons and really dig into the reasons those prisons were built in the first place. Even if they are simple and boring rather than complex or dangerous, we can change the moment we realize the "why". We can choose better for ourselves. We can limit, eliminate, or push past and find the "middle way" instead (or in case of abuse or addictions, break free). If my father had worked just enough to keep a roof over our heads, and also realized his worth and didn't drown his sorrows in beer and cigarettes and working sixty hours a week or more? He may still be here.
Do we want to get to our finale in life miserable and imprisoned? Or do we want to find glorious redemption and be free? The choice is ours. I know, easier said than done, but sometimes we have dig deeper than we ever have before in order to find where our happiness is hiding.
Hey you. Yeah, you over there. What are you running away from? What are you avoiding? What are you ignoring because you don't want to deal with it right now?
If I had to pick a soul card, like a card that depicts my actual soul? It'd probably be this card. I HATE dealing with confrontation. I will take responsibility for things when something is my fault, but I really hate dealing with drama and confronting others. I've also been known to run away from things I'm ashamed of at times. But I'm here to tell you, that just heading stuff off at the pass? Dealing with it ASAP is so much easier than letting it build up and dealing with it when you have no choice anymore.
If you did something to someone and are ashamed of it? Speak up. Admit to it. Running never helps. And eventually, it'll catch up with you anyways. This card is the card of running away when you're guilty. You may be wondering, "What if coming clean will blow up my life?" Well, if you don't, then what kind of life are you living? A lie, that's what. That thing happened. You said or did something that you need to come clean about. If things would drastically change if they found out it was you? Then your life is already blown up. It's just a ticking time bomb until it does.
Own your shit, man. You made a mistake. We all do that. Admit it and make amends (action and apology, always both). And truly mean it. And do better next time. If someone hates you over a mistake, then they are the person with the issue. Unless you make this mistake a lot? If so, fix yourself. Seek help in doing so if you can't do it alone.
Or maybe the trickery has been done do you and you know about it? So confront them already. I know, easier said than done. I will hide from someone before I confront them. I hate it, because most people won't own up to their shit in a honest way (or without aggression). So I don't trust their responses. I don't trust they have my best interest at heart, so I fear their reactions. But I sometimes just do it anyways. I say "If they get angry, oh well. Then I know where I stand with them in life."
We are all human here. We all make mistakes. We all do bad things sometimes. Nobody is immune to that (even though so many pretend they are). So admit your mistakes, forgive yourself, forgive others (when you can), and try to do better in the future.
Running away from our problems will only feel good for a moment. They will always return until we deal with them. Remember that.
What can you let of right now that's not making your life better? What needs to be fixed or thrown out? Because we all have things our lives that we don't need anymore. Either we've outgrown them (relationships, clothes, items, jobs, or ideas) or maybe they are more harmful to us than we care to admit.
I once had a friend from fourth grade that I kept her as a friend because she'd always just been there. But it was surface. We had lots of bad blood between us that we never once addressed. When I tried to bring it up to her one day, she blew up at me. I guess our friendship was based on just playing that fun game of denial and pretending like it all didn't happen. So, after she blew up at me, I let her go in the nicest way possible. The truth was, I'd outgrown us. I was at the age where I wanted a deep and meaningful relationship with everyone around me and didn't have time anymore in my life for fake stuff. When I tested her to see if we could work on all that crap that was bubbling just under the surface between us, I saw she didn't want the same thing I did. I saw that she was perfectly okay with that festering crap, just oozing out whenever it felt like it. So, I made the decision that she was better off without a friend who was angry at her all the time, and I deserved better than someone who didn't want to address the truth. It was time to move on. For the both of us, even if she didn't want to.
The point of the story is, sometimes we keep things around in our lives because they've always been there. Like that old chair. Or that old shirt that doesn't fit us anymore. Or my kids' grade school homeschooling books and old tarot books and decks that I never used. Or like old friends that don't do anything for us but take up space in our lives. So we check these things, and ask ourselves if we can still use them today. Can we upcycle these things to fit our current lives now?
If the answer is no, then out they go. And we move on, making room for the things that will nourish us in the future, rather than the things that are sucking our energy from the past.
Okay, so there doesn't always have to be winner or a loser. In fact, when you play this game in relationships? Nobody is winner. You either both win or you both lose.
How do you both win? Honest communication, that's how. Did someone actually do something pretty bad to you? You have two choices. You can walk away. This is the simplest. This doesn't always mean "I can't forgive you" (though it can), but just that's not worth playing this game of winners and losers anymore. Or, you can work it out. Working it out means to actively work to get over your pain of what the other person did, rather than hating them and punishing them forever. It means honest communication and finding forgiveness. This can take years if the act against you is really bad (though forgiving is only worth it when the other person is actively working on doing better). But it can also just mean completely understanding the person's motivations behind what they did and forgiving when you both really understand each other and make amends for what was done wrong (when the act is small).
You both lose if you walk away from a disagreement as the winner or the loser. Because in a relationship there are no winners or losers. There is only two people who are working hard to be good to the other person and sometimes failing (which is normal when it's just regular stuff). Anything less than that is not a real relationship. If one person is always being treated bad or you both are always treating each other bad, then that's not a relationship. That's abusive and toxic.
So, are you ready to really work on things with this person? Are they worth it? Are you capable of real change? Are they? Analyze what's going on and make a choice from there.
Do you need a nap right now? Cause I know I do! Damn. Sometimes life is so exhausting that you just need to step back and quiet your mind with some R&R and some introspection. Self-care dammit! Stop neglecting yourself and slow down and find your peace. If you don't, you're going to experience burnout and you'll be wishing you had taken a time out when you could have.
If you're in a position to not take any time for yourself? For real, what are you even doing? Nobody is meant to be "on" all the time. This isn't a race or a show just how worthy you are in life by how much you do. Who taught you that? Because their opinion honestly doesn't matter. So take the time out, rest, relax, and delegate! Let someone else pick up the slack. Oh, they won't? Then just take the rest anyways, and see what happens. I guarantee you, the world will not fall down without you for a moment. It may not get done to your exact specifications, but that's something you need to realize. It doesn't have to. The world will still turn.
Find a babysitter. Delegate responsibility. And get some rest. The world will look different and so much better to you after you do. And a less stressed out person is much more fun to be around, too *wink* LOL
Oh wow. So much fuckery in this card. Let me tell you something. Your heart is going to break sometimes. It can be due to a romantic relationship. A friend. A neighbor. One or both of your parents. Your children. School friends. Coworkers. Bosses. Strangers. Your government. Yourself. THE ENTIRE FUCKING WORLD.
Every single one of these listed have broken my heart at least once. Some in tiny ways, some in ways I never thought my heart would ever be mended again. But it did. It healed each and every single time. Well, one is still breaking my heart and I don't think she'll ever stop until after she passes on. But that's my cross to bear. And I know that will heal one day, too. But until it does, I practice self-care and protect my heart as much as I can. It's all we can do. We can draw boundaries. We can cradle our hearts like they are our child to keep safe and protected. But not so much they can't go out and make its own mistakes, because without mistakes, we'll never learn. But learn we do. And then we make better choices on how better to share our hearts in the future.
But my dear, if your heart is broken right now? Just take time to heal it and really feel your pain. Ignoring it will only make things worse in the future. But don't down drown in your pain either. That's not healthy either. Just, feel it. And heal it. Know that this too shall pass. Even if you feel it never will. Even if you don't want it to. Know that you're not alone and seek out support if you need it. And know it's okay to be broken right now, even if others tell you that you shouldn't. Just take space for yourself and work on you while you wait for it to pass (or learn how to integrate it into your being, if the loss is really huge).
Sending you a hug or whatever you need right now. 💗
"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference."
When life presents you a choice to pick the safe route (the way you always pick, the one you're familiar with), or the scary route (the one you maybe know you should pick, but haven't done before), which will you choose?
It's okay to choose to the safe route for now, until you're ready to take the scary route. The scary route will change your life for the better (though it may be very, very hard in the beginning). But we can only walk the walk when when we're ready. If we push ourselves to do it before we're ready, then we will either a) revert right back to our old selves or b) fail so hard that we will be scared forever to take that route again.
Though, sometimes, we think we aren't ready, and we are. You are the only person who knows when you can push yourself and when you can't. Fear will always be there. That won't change. But can you live with the fear for a bit? Because eventually it will give way to your life's truth.
Weigh your options. Which choice will give you the most reward? Which choice will be worth failing and learning from? Which one will be worth the journey? Which one can you live with?
This is your life, remember that. It's not a dress rehearsal. You only get one shot at this. Make sure that you're choosing a life you can be happy with when it comes to the finale.
Where in your life do you need clarity right now? Where do you need to communicate better in your life? Did you know that the secret to a true deep and meaningful and honest relationship with anyone is real communication? And the reason why most relationships (whether romantic, friendships, or group relationships) fail is due to not only misunderstanding the other person, but also assuming what they mean without asking them.
In the eightfold path in Buddhism, two the of those paths are "right speech" and "right understanding". Meaning, if you use healing words and understand a person's motivations (and your own) without judgment, it's real and honest. When you cloud your judgment and words with anger or some of the other "fetters" (also known as knots or "crap that holds you back"), you're not being real. So this card reminds us to get real. Come from a place of trust and honesty and love, rather than fear and anger, and you'll do so much better in your relationships with others, AND yourself. If you and the other person BOTH practice right understanding and right speech (and all the other good stuff in the eightfold path), then you have a relationship based on awesomeness, trust, and true and real love (even if it's friendship-love). When you truly understand another person's motivations, you get clarity. And when you have clarity, you find happiness. Simple, yet so hard. So work at it and don't give up. Because I assure you, it's worth it.
