In this reading I will be exploring my current situation in life.  I will give you some backstory and then do the reading.  You can follow the way I decipher the cards in the SA way (soul archaeology) to apply to the cards you pull for yourself.  I am going to show you how to adapt a regular reading to an SA style reading, even using the same card positions as the original and not changing anything.  Any reading can be an SA reading, it's just all in how you read the cards.  

This is a five-card reading from the book "Positively Tarot" by Emma Toynbee.  

So, today I will be exploring my current life situation, which is my mother living with me, my hubby, and my kids.  She's a narcissist who has abused me for my entire life and will still find ways to get a jab in now and then (as much as she can).  She has dementia and has health issues and lives in our home.  We are not sure if she will be able to go into a nursing home due to a number of reasons.  I don't want to be stuck with her forever, especially after she will need nursing care that I cannot give her.  So, here is my soul archaeology reading on this situation.  

First, let me first inform you that this style of reading is not predictive.  So, I am not looking for answers on "what is going to happen" in the future.  What I am looking for is clarity on my situation.  Something to give me more understanding so I can feel better about it.  Soul Archaeology is about digging deep into the depths of your own soul and breaking open the cracks and crevices where the answers are hiding.  We are all deep wells of information.  Sometimes we just need a little help digging it out.  

And this is how to take any reading you want and turn it into an SA reading.  

Okay, let's start.

Cards 1&2: Past, past events that helped shape the present moment. 

Card 3: Present, a result of past influences

Card 4: Hidden Aspect, what is hidden and at work in the current situation

Card 5: Future, when all of these energies converge, the most likely outcome

The deck I am using is the Light Seers Tarot. 

For cards 1 & 2 I drew the 5 of Cups and The Lovers.  Here is the amazing thing with Soul Archaeology tarot readings: if you don't connect with a card or like a card, you can just draw another one!  The Lovers, even though in traditional tarot it can mean "choice", it really doesn't fit with what I am asking about here.  So I will draw a new card. 

Oh yes, that's it.  The 5 of Pentacles.  I could not hit the nail more on the head with these two fives, which indicate strife and loss.  

Past: Sadness.  Loss.  Loneliness.  Grief.  Despair.  Anger.  Regret.  Sorrow.  Disappointment.  The 5 of Cups has it all.  It's reflecting on the trauma itself, and not how to heal from it.  The phrase "You have to feel it heal it" comes to mind.  Yes.  That is what brought us here.  I almost didn't move in with her because of those reasons.  I knew it would be hell.  And it was.  Actually, it was worse than I could ever imagine.  Funny, sometimes you fear something so much, and usually, it's never as bad as you think.  Yet this time, it was worse.  I was retraumatized from her previous abuse with more abuse and it almost drove me insane.  And it was so bad that I could not concentrate on anything else.  But the dementia has progressed in the past two years.  So has her health issues.  And it's better now.  But I am still stuck in this card.  I am still angry.  I am still full of sadness and loss.  Loss for a life I never got to have.  For parents I never asked for, nor wanted.  And I know I will never get understanding from her or an apology or realness.  She's incapable.  But this state of mind is what makes everything so much worse.  Instead of focusing on the way things are so much better now, I still focus on my loss and my anger.  Though I am getting slightly better, or at least trying to.  

Past (though I'll say more recent past, as in the last few years): She's trapped in a home she doesn't want to be in.  The key is right there, but she either cannot see it, or knows she can't use it yet.  She has to wait for the right time and it's draining her mental health.  She needs to find a way out without having to leave quite yet.  She has to find a way to rid herself of her mental prison.  I know pentacles indicates physical bodies, but brains are physical, so it counts, right?  I mean, I am in a physical prison, too, but not as much as I used to be.  I found my way out by removing every single little thing she could use to control me and now I am pretty much free.  It's only my mental prison that remains.  I am still stuck living with her though, and that's a physical prison.  But that part I can deal with as long as I ease my thoughts into something better.  

Present: This card means that you're reliving past happy memories from your childhood or teenage years.  I don't know about that.  It seems quite the opposite.  But maybe it's advice?  On how I should be spending my time instead.  Why just think about all the bad shit that happened and instead, try to remember the good things?  I mean, that would make better use out of my time instead.  I did have some kickass dogs growing up.  I also had some kickass adventures.  My plan was to revamp my memoirs soon, and maybe I could use that time to throw in some good memories, too, rather than just the shitty ones.  I do have issues thinking about good times with my mother, though.  Because now that I know she's a narcissist (I've known for a very long time), I know that all of those memories are fake.  Behind my back she was badmouthing me to everyone, even though to my face she was being cheerful and nice at times.  But maybe I could wade through those times and see what nuggets of little realness there really was?  I am sure there are a couple.  Maybe?  Using the present to instead think about the good parts of my childhood, maybe I could write another memoir on that?  I already have so many negative ones.  But my life wasn't always bad.  There were good times.  So, I like that idea.  I think I'll start writing down awesome memories and see if there is enough for another book.  

Hidden Aspect: I know this isn't a traditional meaning of this card, but the picture reminds me of the "weaving of fate", as though I am living here with her here, now, for a bigger reason.  Like, this is where I am supposed to be right now at this point in my life.  I am an atheist, sure, but I still ponder the idea of certain ways fate or other metaphysical ideas could be real in some way, shape, or form.  I do know that I am supposed to be here with her right now in order to heal.  Because it is healing me.  Despite my anger or resentment at her behavior, I am free of so many things that have plagued me for most of my life.  All because I learned how to take my power back from her.  I think that's amazingly healing.  She can't torment me from the grave one day, because we moved past the tormenting in real life.  When my father died, it took me TWELVE years to heal from his abuse.  And recently, I have broken open some healed wounds from him, all because I know sometimes the only way to heal DEEP wounds is allow it to heal, scab over, and maybe form a scar, but go excavating again after to see what comes up.  And lo and behold, there was more wound there that I didn't realize.  But with my mother, my wounds are gashed open, seeping and somewhat infected, but so many of them are starting to heal.  So, I do feel lucky to have had this experience with her.  I know it's for the greater good of my healing process.  Whether fate is real or imagined, it doesn't matter.  I am here for a reason.  Even if it's a reason of my choosing.  

Outcome (or as I like to call it: My Goal): Enlightenment, baby.  Bliss.  Look at how chill this guy is.  He's at one with the world around him.  So much so, he's floating on water.  Or at least imagining he is.  He's touching his singing bowl with his finger and making it sing without a wooden rod.  He's in charge of his reality.  

See, with the SA way to read, I don't think that a genie is going to grant me this wish as an "outcome", but rather a goal to work towards.  I think it's going to take hard work on my part, especially the part about using what I have right now as a way to heal and move forward, eventually spending my time thinking of all the good I once had and have right now.  Shifting my perspective and my focus to the good, instead of living in the prison of the bad.  It won't be easy, but I think I'm up for it.  I think I am ready for the change.  I should print out this picture so I can remind myself of how I want to feel (that's called a "positive prime" in psychology).  To remind me of what my goal is.  He emotionally, mentally, physically, and intellectually calm.  That's what I want.  I want to find that peace.  I already try to practice Buddhism, I guess I should really up my game and try to practice loving-kindness with my mom (it's a sort-of of mantra meditation).  Also, I should start a "happy memories" journal.  Which excites me because I love starting new journals.  

And there we have it.  No predictions.  No tall, dark, and handsome strangers.  Just looking at some very beautiful pieces of cardstock and using them to dig into my own psyche and pull out what makes sense.  

No, it's your turn.  Try this reading with the Soul Archaeology way of reading and see what you come up with.  And if you post it, link me below!